It’s almost everyone’s favorite time of year! Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, you may be running into issues about who to visit. Deciding which partner’s family you should go to first is difficult. If your parents and in-laws live far apart, it can truly be a conundrum. However, never fear! Here are our tips on how to compromise holidays with ease.

How to Spend Holidays with Family

The holidays are all about spending time with your friends and family. If you’re engaged, dating, or newlyweds, then you might be dealing with your first split holiday situation this holiday season. Deciding where to spend your celebrations can be challenging, especially if this is your first time doing so.

However, splitting your time for the holidays doesn’t have to be a war with your family. We know how badly you both want to spend time with your loved ones. Therefore, here are some ideas on how to split your time for the holidays. Even if your mother-in-law wants all holidays, here’s how to effortlessly navigate the season.

Deciding where to spend the holidays as a couple can be a difficult decision.

How to Compromise Holidays

Alternate holidays if they’re too far away.

Sit down with your spouse and determine which holidays both sides of your family celebrate. For example, some families get together every Easter and Fourth of July. However, others only see each other during Christmas and Thanksgiving.

If there is any overlap in holidays that you both celebrate, start alternating who you visit each year. This makes it fair for both families. Plus, it gives you both a chance to spend the holidays with your side of the family.

Alternating holidays between families is a popular option and minimizes travel.

Compromise by splitting up two-day holidays.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day is an excellent example of a two-day holiday. Two-day holidays—or holidays that last for more than one day like Hannakuh—are a perfect opportunity.

Sharing holidays with both families is possible if you are in close proximity. Allow the first day for one side and the second day for the other. Knowing how to compromise holidays is easy with this type of plan.

Some holidays can be split over the course of a few days. 

Combine Christmas and families by hosting the holidays yourself.

If you don’t want to split up your holidays, maybe it’s time to consider hosting them instead! This way you can invite both sides of the family, and no one has to split a holiday.

This method might not work for every family. However, if you can’t come to a compromise on who should get what day, this could be a great middle-ground.

To avoid conflict, hosting holidays is always an option.

Celebrate before or after the holidays.

If your family can be a little flexible, consider celebrating before your after the holidays so everyone can be there. This way you can celebrate with one family the day of, and another before or after the holiday.

Plus, you can also take advantage of deals on after Christmas sales or after Thanksgiving sales for cheaper holiday celebrations. Sharing holidays with both families is possible when you are able to gather at a different, yet close, time.

If you can’t be with your own family, be intentional about being with them at another time.

How to Compromise Holidays When It’s Not Your Turn

One of the most challenging parts about splitting up your holidays is not being with your family during those special days. Sharing the holidays with both families is difficult depending on your schedules.

However, just because you’re not spending the holidays with them doesn’t mean that you still can’t include them in your holiday plans.

We recommend having a video call over Zoom, FaceTime, Hangouts, or Duo so you can still see your loved ones during the holidays. You could also send a care package to that family you won’t see. Doing so will let them know that you still love them and haven’t forgotten them during this busy time of year.

Schedule a phone or Zoom call with family that you can’t spend time with during the holiday season.

How to Split Your Time for the Holidays Takeaway

As you can see, splitting your time for the holidays is all about give and take. With these tips, you can make splitting your holiday time much easier and less stressful for both you and your spouse, as well as your family.

Photos: Eugene Zhyvchik, Ekaterina Bolovtsova, Thanakorn Phanthura, Juliana Malta, Pavel Danilyuk, Nadine Primeau