“How to Give ‘I Love You’”
With the holidays right around the corner, thoughts of wedding planning are now intermingled with possibilities for the looming (and sometimes dreaded) holiday gift exchange. Now not only do you have to worry about gifts for your family and friends, but you also have to find presents for your prospective in-laws and, of course, your fiancé.
But before you dash out to the store to buy him another shirt, stop and ask yourself if that gift would truly make your man feel loved. What I mean is that not everyone feels loved through receiving physical gifts. In fact, according to “The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional” by Gary Chapman, there are five different love “languages:” gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and quality time. Let’s briefly look at each of these and see if they spark any gift ideas:
1. Gifts: If your loved one’s eyes light up when you hand them a physical present and they rave about it for days, then gifts probably make them feel cared for. For ideas, research things your guy is interested in and find corresponding gifts. For example, if he likes sports, buy him his favorite player’s jersey; if he enjoys technology, get him wireless speakers for his smart phone.
2. Physical Touch: While most men enjoy physical touch, the real question is whether or not it makes them feel loved. If the answer is yes, then gift ideas include homemade coupons for head/shoulder/foot rubs, or you could buy him a gift certificate for a professional massage from your favorite spa. Some guys love this!
3. Words of Affirmation: If verbal expressions edify your fiancé’s soul, then write him a sweet card or poem. While we were dating, I bought my husband-to-be a box of chocolates and wrote something I loved about him under each piece of candy. It was a great success!
4. Acts of Service: Some people feel loved when you do things for them (you will learn to appreciate this one more once you are married!). If this is true of your hubby, then get his car detailed, make him his favorite dinner, or help him with a project he is working on.
5. Quality Time: If your fiancé appreciates you making time for him, then invest in gifts that emphasize this. For instance, you could buy him tickets for a football game you could attend together, or plan a picnic lunch or weekend getaway.
While you may feel uneasy not having a traditional gift for your fiancé this year, trust me when I say that he would much rather receive something that makes him feel valued than something you are “supposed” to give him. If you are not sure what his primary love languages are, take some time and explore this with him, sharing your favorites as well. In the process, you may just inspire him to invest in your love languages, too!
Thanks again, Rachael, for writing “Newly Wed” … it’s always great advice for those who are looking forward to marriage and even those of us who have been married for a while! To view previous “Newly Wed” articles, just click here, and this is definitely a column to look forward to each month!
When doing your holiday shopping, give our Hill City Bride vendors a thought. Lots of them offer gift certificates, and some have store fronts. Check them out by clicking here, and have fun shopping!!