Once again, thank you to Rachel McLean of RS Exclusive … she is speaking from experience to the guys out there. I love this twist on an article for those grooms-to-be out there. Enjoy!
Dear brides, as much as I love you, today’s topic is actually geared toward your man, so be sure to pass this along to your future hubby, as we want him to know he’s not alone if he’s been feeling a bit of the groom-to-be-blues.
(Ladies, before you panic, let me iterate that when I say “blues,” it has absolutely nothing to do with a lack of excitement on your fiancé’s part about making you his bride – of course he’s excited! — rather, it can be a teeny, tiny voice in his head that points out that his lack of experience in the realm of wedding planning renders him useless, and his opinions for the big day, obsolete. Guess what, this is not true!)
Long before there is even a ring, many future brides already have a pretty good idea of what their wedding should look like, and are ready to dive right in to the planning process with their event planner. Guys, not so much. The fact of the matter is that we’re just wired differently, and that’s okay. (Hey, us girls aren’t exactly dying to hit up Lowes for a new set of tools to tackle the leaking plumbing. And if you are, you’re my hero.)
So here’s the part I want to emphasize: while your future groom may not be chomping at the bit to start picking out flower arrangements, chances are deep down he really does want to be a part of this process – after all, it is going to be the biggest day of his life as well. It’s naturally easy as a bride (you’re on a mission!) to get caught up in making all of the decisions — unintentionally dismissing the groom from playing any important role – which can result in the groom feeling a little left out.
And guys, just because you put a lot of time and energy into your proposal doesn’t mean you can just “check out” and show up on the wedding day. This is such an exciting time in your lives, and we want you to enjoy it to the fullest. Sharing your ideas and plans – and most of all, your support – with each other can make this time even more meaningful to your relationship.
So here are a few suggestions and practical tips on how you as the groom-to-be can best support the love of your life and get involved (without feeling in over your head) in the wedding planning process:
1) Don’t be afraid to give your opinion.
Chances are you probably aren’t going to care whether the centerpieces have fruit or flowers, but you may really care about what food and beverages are on the menu, or what the evening entertainment will be like. While it can be easy to feel (unintentionally) left out as planning kicks into high gear, don’t assume your bride doesn’t care what you think. It’s important that your wedding day reflect who you both are as a couple. Write down your ideas as you have them and talk them over together. Your brilliant ideas may just be the ones to make your reception a smash hit.
2) Be an active listener
It pretty much goes without saying that a woman needs to talk, and as the main squeeze in her life, you are the first person she wants to go to when she has something on our heart, ideas to share, or just to let off some steam. Want to go the extra mile? Take some initiative: set your bride down and ask her how she’s doing, what’s on her mind, and how you can make things better. (Brownie points!)
3) Be available
You have no idea how much it means to your bride to just know that you’re there when she needs you – whether that means making phone calls to scope out the band for your reception, or simply there to offer a hug and an encouraging word when she’s feeling stressed. She needs you!
4) Be supportive
So your expertise may not be floral arrangements, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be involved. Express support and provide encouraging feedback to your bride on the choices she’s making. Tell her she’s doing a great job and that you’re proud of how beautiful things are coming together. Trust me on this: your uplifting words, and show of support, go a long way.
5) Don’t forget the romance!
Amidst the busyness of planning your wedding, don’t forget to take time out for some one-on-one, non-wedding-related, time together. (I.e. plan dates!) The whole reason you’re getting married is because you’re crazy about each other. Don’t let the wedding take over and lose sight of the importance of building your relationship during this time.
Thank you again, Rachel! Be sure to check out the website of RS Exclusive when you get a chance to see their amazing work … what a great team they have to make your wedding happen.
Speaking of weddings, tomorrow is your last day to vote for our I Dream of a Wedding couple … who is your favorite?? You have until midnight on Thursday the 1st to tell us!