Be sure to catch the first three articles on Engaging the Internet this week, and enjoy the fourth installment in this series.

Familiarize Yourself with “Internetiquette”

There are many questions when dealing with the internet, the first of which being a controversy about sending online invitations for weddings. My personal opinion, and that of Peggy Post (writer of Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette) is that a wedding invitation should always be sent through the mail. Save the dates and shower invitations can be sent electronically, but use a site like Paperless Post (think super upscale Evite) instead of opting for a mass email.

When you are maintaining your own web presence, such as your wedding site or even a Facebook wedding group, remember that it is a representation of you, so be yourself! Give your opinions and talk about your finds and even your struggles honestly and from the heart … it is so endearing when someone can be themselves online.

A few words of caution, though, the first one being to refrain from using foul language … your future brother-in-law may find it funny, but your tech savvy grandmother may not. Also, I can not stress this enough, brush up on some grammar skills. Not that you have to be a perfectionist, but brushing up on some common errors (like when to use the possessive “your” verses the contraction “you’re”) will make for easy reading.

We definitely live in the age where brides can have their wedding planning at their fingertips on their Blackberry, and I encourage you to use this to your advantage!  What a great way to familiarize yourself with wedding trends while you are sitting at the doctor’s office or be able to scan photographer’s photos at 2 am. I wish you the best in your plans and in your future life together.

Once again, I am pleased to present The Exclusive, written by Rachel McLean of the duo of RS Exclusive. Part One of this posting can be viewed by clicking here, and we hope you enjoy this look into wedding etiquette.

Wedding Etiquette (Part Two)

As event planners, we are constantly asked our opinion on what is and isn’t permissible when it comes to the details leading up to, and surrounding, the wedding day. While there are innumerable questions that can be addressed when it comes to the topic of wedding etiquette, we’ve compiled of few of the ones we get asked most. We hope they provide you with some added insight and direction when making decisions for your big day.

Invitations

Wedding invitations are the first opportunity you have to show your guests your personal taste and style, and proper etiquette continues to dictate they are tangible, never virtual. If money is an issue, there are many budget-friendly printed invitation options available, as well as some great DIY projects for those who enjoy the opportunity to get crafty.

If you’re really on a shoe-string budget, sending out an electronic Save the Date is acceptable, but be sure to send a hard-copy of your invitation to anyone on your list who may not be web-savvy, and remember that anyone who receives a virtual invite must also be sent your official invitation.

If your RSVP date is rapidly approaching, and many of your guests still have yet to reply, don’t panic. Enlist members of your family or bridal party to make “courtesy reminder calls” about a week out from your RSVP date. As it is not unusual to have a few last-minute guests show up, it is wise to plan accordingly with your wedding planner and caterer for adequate seating and food.

Adult Only Wedding

Whether for cost or to create a more formal atmosphere, many couples opt for an adult only affair. The most successful way to communicate this to your guests is to print “Adult Reception” on your invitation, and list only the names of those guests invited.  However, be prepared to field calls from friends and family asking for exceptions. If you make the allowance for one family, be prepared for the possibility of hurt feelings from others where an allowance wasn’t made.

Bridal Escort

Today’s families come in all shapes and sizes, and no one has to feel left out, or alone. Close to both your father and step-father? It’s perfectly appropriate (should you desire) to include both in the wedding ceremony. Based on your situation, a brother, special friend, or close relative can also stand in this position. Your decision comes down to what is most meaningful to you, and what is most honoring to the ones you love.

Receiving line

While many modern brides forego a traditional receiving line in an effort to save a large chunk of time, we do encourage you and your new spouse to make time during the reception to make brief visits to each guest table. Your guests will no doubt appreciate the opportunity to congratulate you in person, and it allows you a moment to thank your guests for making the effort to attend and support you. This can also be a great way to hand-deliver your wedding favors to your guests!

Seating Chart

For small, intimate weddings, seating charts aren’t necessary. However, with a larger guest count, arranged seating can alleviate the awkwardness of table shuffling and help you to avoid any sticky situations (i.e. divorced parents).

Alcohol

For couples who don’t drink, there is nothing wrong with foregoing liqueur. If money is the concern, consider featuring a signature drink and forego the expense of an open bar. In any case, having a cash bar is never okay at a wedding. There are many ways to save money (without sacrificing style or taste) when it comes to your beverages, however, asking your guests to pay isn’t one of them.

Wedding Cake

Not into cake? Serve something else. The sky is really the limit when it comes to your featured dessert. Be creative and have fun finding the right dessert that says “you.” Should you still want to include a traditional cake-cutting element, you can always opt for a personal-sized bride and groom cake to have in addition to your other sweet selections.

Again, many thanks to RS Exclusive, who will also be presenting a session on being the bride and really enjoying your wedding day at Bliss, a fine wedding fair on Saturday … it’s coming up soon, so be sure to register!

Photos are all from Flickr from the following sources from top to bottom: lacey.h, jaydaonline, blush**, C@tch, normadeanphotography, claireken, YouDidntDidYou, Albee’s Garden Parties, and mr & mrs griffiths.

Once again, I am pleased to present The Exclusive, written by Rachel McLean of RS Exclusive, a mother-daughter full service event company. If you have any questions for this knowledgeable duo, feel free to email them to info@hillcitybride.com.

Wedding Etiquette

As event planners, we are constantly asked our opinion on what is and isn’t permissible when it comes to the details leading up to, and surrounding, the wedding day. For many newly-engaged couples, it can be difficult to decipher which rules and traditions of wedding protocol are essential, which traditions are out-dated and no longer apply, and which are simply at their (and/or their families’) own discretion, based upon their unique situation and desires.

A lot of emotion surrounds a wedding, and it can be easy to unintentionally step-on-toes, leave someone out, or overlook common courtesy. As a general rule, we suggest when evaluating a specific decision you ask yourself three questions: Is it respectful? Is it moral? Will it make my loved ones and I feel special and add meaning to my wedding day? If you can easily answer yes to these questions, then you’re on the right path.

While there are innumerable questions that can be addressed when it comes to the topic of wedding etiquette, we’ve compiled of few of the ones we get asked most. We hope they provide you with some added insight and direction when making decisions for your big day.

Who foots the wedding bill?

Tradition of old had it that the bride’s parents consumed the cost for most of the wedding, while the groom’s side paid for the rehearsal dinner. However, times have changed, and event costs are often divided between both sets of parents, as well as the bride and groom. For many families, the desire to help is there, but the finances may not. A good rule of thumb is to never expect, but always be grateful for help that is given. Having a handle on your available finances early on will allow you to set a realistic budget and pinpoint areas of specific need.

Engagement Announcement

Before you make it “Facebook official,” take time to communicate the news of your engagement in a personal manner to your loved ones and closest friends. There is a time and place for electronic communication, but this isn’t it. They will appreciate the consideration, and enjoy the opportunity to personally share in your joy. Once official calls have been made, it’s perfectly appropriate to tweet away, sharing your good news with the rest of the world.

Guest Attire

Having a formal, but-not-too-formal affair, but are unsure how to indicate it on your invitation? The use of either “semi-formal” or “cocktail attire” are appropriate, and will communicate in a simple manner to your guests what attire is appropriate.

Registries

It is never appropriate to advertise your bridal registry in your invitation, rather, save that information for you wedding website. Prefer cash or gift cards? Notify your bridal party and families, and ask them to pass the word along. Keep in mind that many major retailers now allow you to register specifically for gift cards. With any gift registry, be courteous to your guests by offering a range of affordable items to suit even the smallest budget.

Bridesmaids Gowns

Traditionally speaking, the bride is not responsible for covering the cost of her bridesmaids’ dresses or wedding accessories. Being asked to be in your wedding party is an honor, and your bridesmaid should be aware that certain financial responsibilities will be included with her acceptance of the role. This being said, it is important to be mindful of budget when picking out gowns for your bridesmaids. If you know finances are tight, try and choose a dress that is affordable for everyone or offer to cover some of the cost if the dress you choose is a bit pricey.

Eco-friendly

If you’re a practicing vegetarian or vegan, it’s perfectly acceptable to prefer an all-vegetarian or vegan meal at your wedding. However, keep in mind that many of your guests may not be used to a completely “veggie” affair, so it is thoughtful to offer a wide selection of popular items (i.e. pasta) to allow for varying tastes.

Dessert Only Reception

While a dessert-only reception can certainly be eye-catching, decadent, and lighter on the wallet, if your reception is held during the hours of a traditional mealtime, it is courteous to feed your guests something substantial. A person can only consume so many sweets before feeling ill. If you’re set on serving strictly sweets, adjust the timing of your reception to late afternoon so guests can plan to eat prior.

Toasts

While tradition has the best man giving the famed toast, today a couple can incorporate just about any one they wish in their time of tribute. The main thing to be aware of (in addition to the comfort-level of the individuals being asked) is time – keep the reception moving. While guests will enjoy sharing in good-natured levity and touching praise, after a certain point, they will get restless.

Thank you again to the ladies of RS Exclusive for their informative monthly column, “Ask the Exclusive”. I am looking forward to part two on etiquette for wedding next month. The RS Exclusive ladies will also be presenting a workshop during our upcoming event on February 26th, Bliss, a fine wedding fair … be sure to register for this no-miss event!

Here is a sneak peek into their session … Session 3 - Be the Bride – leave the details to someone else – Wedding planners know the inside scoop on the ins and outs of weddings, and they also are connected with the vendors that can make your day spectacular! The team of RS Exclusive will guide you as you learn exactly what benefits there are to utilizing a planner, and how they can turn your wedding into a stress free event.