First and foremost, from us to you, I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season. Bliss and I enjoyed our first Christmas and New Years together and had a wonderful time with family and a few friends. Many of you reading this blog are still single (engaged) or are newly married, so what I am going to talk about today has either happened or it is going to happen.

Holidays seem to be a natural breeding ground for tension. Amidst the wonderful food, gifts and holiday cheer there can be secret seas of tension brewing that you may not even realize. Your husband’s parents would rather have had you for Christmas. Aunt Gemma doesn’t understand why you didn’t call her before Uncle Richard. Maybe your parents wanted you to visit them instead of staying at home by yourself. No matter what the issue may have been, there can be sore feelings if they are not dealt with early and if you and your husband do not prepare ahead of time. Thankfully, Bliss and I were able to avoid any major issues, and we did it with the help of three concepts:

1. First, clearly communicate well ahead of time (before October) where you will be spending the holidays and who with. We asked both our parents which holidays they would rather spend with us, and we did our best to keep everyone happy while still making time for our own traditions and time together.
2. Second, Bliss and I talked extensively about what our family’s traditions were. Whether we ate ham or hotdogs for Christmas Eve, what we put in our stockings… etc. This is a great way to introduce your significant other to your childhood as well as prepare them for some possibly different traditions than they are used to.
3. Finally, make the most of your holidays. Bliss and I worked really hard to not make mountains out of molehills. As we got to talking about the holidays and everything that went with them, we began to realize that if Lord willing, we are married for 50 years, that is only 50 Christmas seasons we have together. Only 50 Christmas seasons! That new perspective drove us to make the most of our holidays and the most of the time we had with the families. Were they perfect? Not at all, but we enjoyed being with one another and that is what made it perfect.

Talk to you soon! ~Shelby

*Photo by: Lindsay.Dee.Bunny*

Well, it’s almost Christmastime … the season where we all do last minute shopping, go on Christmas light hunting rides and enjoy time with family and friends. I hope you enjoy these Christmas “blogiday” postings as I review some oldies but goodies from the vault.

“He is #1”

“Your ring is stunning!” “Have you picked out your dress?” “How did he propose?” These are a few of the things you are probably hearing from your friends and family right now. This is an exciting time in your life, and your loved ones want to share in that. But after the wedding, the “ooh”s and “aah”s fade, and you will be faced with a new challenge: prioritizing your husband.

Up until this time in your life, your friends and family comprised your most important relationships. While they are still essential, your new #1 priority is your husband. Although your girlfriends and family love you, they may have a challenging time adjusting to this. Let’s look at some ways we can respond to this predicament:

1.      Rebel: When I first got engaged, some of my close friends did not understand what I was going through and why I couldn’t spend as much time with them as I used to. Frustrated, I pulled away from those friendships, telling myself I did not need them. I knew my friends were hurt, and my life lacked the fulfillment that can be found in meaningful friendships with the opposite sex.

2.      Resign: This issue recently arose in my life, but instead of rebelling, I resigned and gave in. I spent most of my time with my friends, heavily investing in them and leaving little for my husband. My husband is not complaining, and they are, so I’ll just choose the path of least resistance, I thought. However, I became resentful towards my husband because I did not feel close to him. When I brought it up, he expressed that he, too, felt resentful because I was not prioritizing him. Yet he had not said anything because he knew how important my friendships were and did not want to be a hindrance.

3.      Remain/Remind: The third and healthiest option is to remain strong in your decision to prioritize your husband and remind your friends and family that you still love them and are there for them, but the dynamics of your relationships have changed. Try to be patient with them, but make it clear that you need quality time with your husband. Even if he isn’t vocal about it, he wants to be close to you, and you need a deep friendship with him if you want your marriage to be strong. Author Bob Barnes affirms this: “Our spouses are more important than our friends, and our actions need to reflect that fact even if old friends don’t understand (‘What Makes a Man Feel Loved?’).”

While this challenge presents a tricky balancing act, it can be done, and your family and true friends will understand and adapt. Remember, at the end of the day, you are not married to your girlfriends, you do not share a bed with them, and you will not raise kids with them. Look for ways to show your fiancé that he is #1 today and watch your relationship flourish!

Well, it’s almost Christmastime … the season where we all do last minute shopping, go on Christmas light hunting rides and enjoy time with family and friends. I hope you enjoy these Christmas “blogiday” postings as I review some oldies but goodies from the vault.

I’m Dreaming of a Lite Christmas

Whatever holiday you are celebrating this month, there is one common thread among them all that can derail any bride. The food. This time of year, food is about family, traditions and celebrating. Let’s be honest, it’s hard to say no, especially if you are celebrating with new family – your future family. Can you really say no to Aunt Betty’s famous artichoke dip or Granny’s chocolate sauce or the pecan pie that is specially ordered every year? Traditions among families are meant to be honored, appreciated, and carried on, but that does not mean that you have to eat it ALL for the sake of family relations.

Planning ahead is the key to getting through the holidays without letting go of your vision of yourself on your wedding day – particularly if you have already bought the dress! Take a good look at your schedule for the upcoming holidays. You will likely have weekends or even days where you have multiple events and will need to juggle these logistically and nutritionally. When you have a holiday event and you are trying to stay on a diet or at least prevent weight gain, one of the best ways to do this is to eat a small, healthy meal before you go.

Choose foods that are high in protein and complex carbohydrates and low in sugar to keep your blood sugar balanced. The last thing you want to do is down a bowl of sugary cereal or a bag of chips that will in no short time leave you low on energy and hungry again – this will make you more vulnerable to making the wrong choices. Instead, try a cup of cottage cheese with whole grain crackers or a half of a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread. This will help ensure that you will not be famished when you arrive at the event.

You will then be able to choose what you eat and drink using your brain and not your stomach. A taste of that “to-die-for” pecan pie will go a long way towards satisfying yourself and your family, while eating a whole slice could contribute to making you feel and look weighed down.

Offering to bring a dish is another way that you can plan ahead in order to stay on track. Most holiday parties are overrun with heavy dips, fattening hors d’oeuvres, creamy spreads, and sugar-laden desserts. To ensure that you have a healthy option at your holiday party, offer to bring a veggie platter or fruit tray so that you can snack without worry.

Another important tip is to choose your beverages wisely. These can be excessive sources of calories and alcohol. A good general rule is to stagger your alcoholic and/or high calorie beverages with a glass of water. This will help to decrease the number of calories consumed and slow the impact of alcohol. We know that alcohol impairs decision-making ability and this is no exception when it comes to food. After a couple of glasses of grandpa’s eggnog, it may be much easier to throw caution to the wind and eat that whole piece of pecan pie … and take a sugar cookie for the road.

Also, remember that there are many ways to bond with family other than eating and drinking. Jumping in on the annual touch football game or caroling through the neighborhood are great ways to bond and stay active during the holidays. It’s a special holiday season when you are the bride and it’s important that you enjoy it. Part of doing this means planning ahead and knowing how you want to look and feel on New Year’s Day as you prepare for your big day!

Thank you again, Katie! What a perfect time of year to learn about how to head off food issues before they happen. 

Well, it’s almost Christmastime … the season where we all do last minute shopping, go on Christmas light hunting rides and enjoy time with family and friends. I hope you enjoy these Christmas “blogiday” postings as I review some oldies but goodies from the vault.

One thing I love about blogging is the opportunity to not only provide you with great wedding ideas and beautiful photos, but I also enjoy having experts impart their knowledge to you by writing articles for Hill City Bride! I am thrilled for you to read the debut column by Liz Cook of Sincerely, Liz: Photography,  just click here to learn more about her. 

To kick off my column here at Hill City Bride, I knew my ultimate goal was to share advice with brides-to-be about their wedding photography. Let’s just say, if I could go back and do it all again, I would change more than just a few things about my own wedding photography experience. It wasn’t bad; it just wasn’t what I wanted. This month, I want to talk to you about what I believe should be your first step in getting the most of your wedding photography: knowing what you want.

In my search for a wedding photographer, it didn’t exactly occur to me that the person would be there to capture the memories of the day. I know, that’s kind of embarrassing to admit. The truth is, all I was thinking about were the beautiful portraits we would have after the day was over. While that was something that was important to me, I completely overlooked all the other memories of the day. I want to make sure you don’t make the same mistake.

So my first piece of advice to you is to sit down with a pencil and paper and brainstorm. Seriously think about what comes to mind when you imagine your wedding pictures. Make a list of the images you dream of, ask your married friends about their photography experiences, and think about the products you would like to have after all is said and done.

Do you dream of a beautiful storybook album that holds all the memories of your day?

Do you want to remember the look on your groom’s face as he catches his first glimpse of you coming down the aisle?

Write it down.

After you have made your list of what is important to you, keep it with you as you start your research of possible wedding photographers. While browsing through online portfolios, look first for the images on your list. When reading about what the photographer offers, keep in mind the products you want. If you come across a photographer whose portfolio shows images you dream of and products you want, make a note of the photographer’s name and contact information and continue your research.

The pictures will be one of the only things left when your wedding day is behind you. Know what you want before you choose your wedding photographer. Make sure he or she has a shooting style you enjoy, images in their portfolio that you are dreaming of, and offers the type of products you are interested in.

Wedding photography is a huge investment in your wedding day, you will want to do it right the first time!

Thank you, Liz, for your wise advice to our brides! Be sure to check out all of the quality photographers and vendors we have on the right hand side of the site … there is sure to be one that will meet your style needs. To view Liz’s site, just click here, and all of the photographs in this article were taken by Liz herself.

As you have probably heard, communication is a vital key to a successful relationship. However the communication difference between men and women can create some very interesting circumstances. Although Bliss and I communicate fairly well; since being married we have learned to sharpen our communication skills.

Girls will be girls and the way we communicate is very different from the males in our lives. Our verbal and non-verbal cues have a tendency of being less bold and obvious. When discussing this with a friend last week we laughed together because we both have experienced a similar situation with our husbands.

In this particular situation my friend’s husband gets off work two hours before she does. On her lunch break she pulled the spaghetti and sauce out of the pantry. Then she got the ground hamburger meat out of the freezer to thaw, and left it on the counter before returning to work. When she arrived home everything was untouched, and her husband was lying on the couch watching television. To every woman reading this … the signal she was trying to send is obvious, my friend wanted her husband to start dinner. When she asked her man about it, he said he thought she was just really well prepared for dinner.

Now my friend has learned to leave a note or call her husband to let him know what it is that she wants. It is a personal habit of mine to assume my husband can read my mind, and then I begin to get frustrated when he doesn’t. Explaining the expectation will help him understand you better, after all how could he know if it hasn’t been communicated?

Men can say something without thinking. Girl gets silent, crosses her arms, and acts like she doesn’t want to even be in the same room with boy. Boy says “what’s the matter?” Girl replys “nothing.” Boy assumes nothing is wrong and goes on with life. Girl stays mad for hours, days, weeks, etc …

When men are told nothing is wrong, they believe that nothing is wrong. But every girl knows thats not actually true … it really means “I’m really upset but I don’t know how to say it.” And oh boy … Bliss and I have learned this lesson the hard way! As I write  this I don’t even remember what I was mad about, but I do remember being mad that he didn’t know why I was mad. Looking back now I see that it was silly of me to expect him to know. I have found that it’s better for my sanity and our marriage to be honest with him if something upsets me. And because he is the awesome guy that he is, he doesn’t mind listening.

Thank you again, Shelby, for writing our Newly Wed column! For those of you who don’t know Shelby, she became a wife in May … I love hearing her take on the early days of marriage. 

Photo credit goes to the following from top to bottom from Flickr: gotosira and pedrosimoes7.