You will notice a little change with “Newly Wed” this month … a change in author! I greatly appreciate all of the time and effort that Rachael Eberle put into this column (she did an amazing job, and just click here to view her articles), but it was time to hand it over to another newlywed. I met Shelby at the Bridal Expo, then she attended Bliss, a fine wedding fair (her husband’s name is Bliss!). I have had the opportunity to get to know Shelby, and she is such a sweetie. I know you will enjoy getting to know her, too!
Shelby has been married for less than two months, and I am looking forward to hearing about her journey and experiences as a newlywed through “Newly Wed”. Welcome aboard, Shelby!!
Hey everyone! My name is Shelby Spillar and a little over a month ago I had the privilege of marrying the greatest man I know. Bliss is an excellent husband, charming, intelligent, and a total stud. What more could a girl ask for? Being married to him is wonderful, but living with a man is much different than any thing else I have experienced. Here are a few stories from our first month and some lessons I have learned along the way.
No toilet paper, no fun. No woman likes to be left stranded without toilet paper. It’s especially no fun at 3:30 am. I let out a big (loud) sigh as I thought “how hard is it to replace the roll of toilet paper”. I climbed back in bed still slightly frustrated about what had happened minutes earlier. My husband rolled over, kissed my forehead and said “I forgot to put the toilet paper back on the roll didn’t I?” Apparently my frustrated sigh gave it away. He apologized, and I realized it was an honest mistake. We laugh about it often. Be gracious in the little things, you never know when you may need him to be gracious too.
Nesting is just not as important to him as it is to you. If your man is anything like mine he has no clue what you are talking about when you use the words: Duvet, Euro Sham, or Valance. All of which were important elements to me as we decorated our bedroom. Blue paint was blue paint to him, but to me it was “Stonewashed” or “Distressed Denim”. I saw the bedroom as a place we would share some of our most intimate moments, discussions, and even fights. I wanted the room to be pleasing to the eye, as well as, relaxing. Once I communicated my vision he was more enthusiastic in helping me capture my vision for the room.
Be patient, he isn’t going to know what bugs you unless you communicate it. My husband had a funny habit of placing his dirty clothes on top of the hamper and not inside the hamper. I was frustrated every time I walked by and opened the lid and placed the clothes inside. I mentioned it to him, and ever since the clothes have been in the hamper. As I look back, his room while we were dating indicated he had no idea what a hamper was. So I guess having the clothes at least on the hamper was progress.
Quantity vs Quality. A honeymoon is a wonderful way to start your marriage together. I loved having a week with just my husband sharing plenty of quality time with none of the distractions of “real life”. Going back to work certainly cut back on the amount of time we were able to spend together. I realized that when we were together, we had to make good use of it. Living in the same house did not change our need for intimate time together. We are sure to set aside time to take walks together, have coffee dates, and meet for lunch. We put it on the calendar, and it gives us both something to look forward to. It has helped us to continue deepen our marriage and friendship.
Well, I hope you enjoyed our funny stories and took to heart the lessons we have learned. I look forward to sharing more newlywed stories and lessons with you over the next year.
See you in August!
Photo credits from top to bottom: Capture It Photography and Events, Flickr by Roel, Flickr by labkdesign/fergusandme, Flickr by Crashmaster007 and Shelby’s own collection of honeymoon photos.