Ask the Exclusive – “Happy Family, Happy Bride: Replacing Family Conflict with Peace while Planning Your Wedding” – by HCB Columnist RS Exclusive
In addition to being one of the happiest and most exciting times in you and your loved ones’ lives, getting married can also be one of the most emotionally-charged and stressful times for your families – which is only natural as emotions run high.
Regardless of how idyllic your relationship is with your immediate family and future in-laws, if you’re like the rest of us, the months and weeks leading up to your wedding are bound to contain at least some level of familial conflict and discord. Here’s the good news: not only is this perfectly normal, but there are ways you can be proactive to help avoid potential conflict and create an attitude and environment of peace.
Here’s a little-known fact about us wedding planners: in addition to planning and orchestrating the details surrounding a wedding, we also carry the unofficial title of family counselor. You see, after years of working with brides, grooms, mothers, fathers, step-parents, in-laws, and best friends, not only have we pretty much seen and experienced just about every type of family dynamic and discord under the sun, but we’ve also gained some important insight to help make your journey to the alter as stress-free, and full of joy, as possible.
Image by Stone Blue Productions
Communicate in Love
As the bride or groom-to-be, naturally you are excited and anxious at the big day that awaits – but it is easy to forget how important this day is to your families as well. For better or worse — in addition to your own expectations — your respective family members probably have their own ideas as to what your wedding day should look like, and may communicate it in such a way that leaves you feeling without a voice. Instead of fighting over an issue, take time to honestly share your heart and explain why the location/food/dress is so important and memorable to you. Clear communication – spoken in love– can often go a long way toward drawing family in to share your beautiful vision.
Bestow Honor
Most families just desire to be involved and recognized during this special time in your life. By clearly communicating your needs and desires for your wedding, you can better redirect your family members’ involvement in a way that is both honoring to them, and appreciated by you. You’d be surprised at how even the simplest request for help from a loved one can make them feel loved and included.
Image by Visions by Heather
Marriage First, Wedding Second
While it is easy to get completely wrapped up in each detail of your wedding day, it is important to not lose focus from what that day truly symbolizes: the beginning of a lifelong marriage to your best friend and the love of your life. Sure, the color of the flowers in your centerpiece may be important, but ultimately, the strength of your relationship with your future spouse – and the family that will forever be a part of your life – is what will matter most, long after you’ve said, “I do.”
Extend Gratitude
While your wedding is absolutely your day to enjoy – and rightly so – it is important to take time to properly recognize all of the love, and gifts of time and financial support that may be given to you by your loved ones. Any gift given in love – be it large or small – it something to be thankful for, and should never be taken for granted. It is amazing what a heartfelt word of thanks, and a warm hug can do to keep spirits high and conflict low.
Image by Visions by Heather
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Anticipate and accept that there will some level of anxiety and conflict during the planning of your wedding. By preparing yourself, you will be less likely to overreact, avoiding unnecessary, hurt feelings.
Accept Guidance
As your wedding planner, we are there for you every step of the way on your journey toward marriage. In addition to creative and logistic assistance, we are also here to provide emotional support, and to supply needed direction or advice if family issues arise.
The journey toward marriage is such an exciting process. Choosing to see things from a different point of view, bestowing honor, and making a point to engage in meaningful, and open communication with your loved ones can go a long way toward avoiding potential conflict, and serve to draw your families closer together during this beautiful season of your life.
Images by Stone Blue Productions
Thank you again, Rachel … what wonderful advice to ease tensions that you do not want rising at a wedding. If you would like to visit the site of RS Exclusive, just click here. If you have a question to ask for next month’s column, just email us at info@hillcitybride.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
